Some years ago I had the opportunity to lead a series of training conferences for pastors and church leaders in Turkey. One of the most moving conversations I had during those two weeks was with four young men in a discipleship training program. Two were Turkish, and two were refugees from Iran.
Among other things, I had been asked to address the pastor’s family relationships. I made that a panel discussion and opened it to questions from the listeners.
One of these four young men said earnestly that he was sure that what we were saying about the pastor’s wife and children was all very good. Unfortunately, he and his fellow students were all single. In Turkey it is hard enough to find any Christians at all, let alone young single Christian women. Did we have any advice?
One of my colleagues offered to send over some American girls – at which a single American girl who was visiting suddenly disappeared out the door.
Everyone laughed, but it was clear that these young men were very serious.
Another of the students added more information. They didn’t just need wives for personal reasons. Especially in the rural villages, it is very difficult for an unmarried person of any gender to be taken seriously as an adult with anything worthwhile to say. How could they get a hearing for the gospel without a wife and family to legitimize them as someone to be listened to?
I answered as best I could, encouraging them that God knows their plight and will provide for them if they pray. (You might pray for them as well, if you think of it.) But as I thought about it, I realized that for these young men, the decision to follow Jesus Christ instead of Allah meant more than just potential misunderstanding or even persecution. It meant cutting themselves off from 99.9% of marriageable females, and facing the very real possibility of years, even a lifetime, of singleness. Some people are called to that, but (I believe) very few. For the rest, which obviously included these young men, that’s a very high price to pay for one’s faith.
Unfortunately, I did not keep up with these men. I pray they stayed strong, and that God brought all of them a loving wife and co-worker. I thank God every day for my own wonderful Paula. But I also have to wonder: how many blessings do I take for granted? How many Christians make sacrifices for their faith that I completely overlook? How many ways do people need prayer that I can’t even imagine?
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